FriendsWith Benefits
by Puppy with Sharp Teeth
Summary: Shuji to Akira pairing. Angst. On the evolution of Shuji and Akira's relationship.


**FIC: Nobuta ****WO Produce –**

**Shuji to Akira – (Friends) With Benefits**

**Title:** (Friends) With Benefits

**Series: **Nobuta wo Produce

**Pairing:** Shuji to Akira (small amounts of one sided Akira/Nobuta)

**Genre:** Um…don't know…angst? Not all that fluffy really, 'cept at the end.

**Rating: **R (mentions of sex)

**Warning: **Slash. Lack of fluffiness. Friends using each other. Shuji being a bit of a player and a bit of a bastard, but all will work out in the end. You might end up hating me for writing this v.v; Might be crappy, might not. Don't say I didn't warn you.

**A/N**The idea for this fic has been on my mind for months. The very thought of it fascinated me, and even though I'm a sucker for realistic fluff, this felt like something I really needed to write, because I don't think anybody has covered the darker potential that this fandom has. I'll admit it, I do like the occasional angst fic, but I've never actually written one before, so this is my first –semi-angst fic. Please take a moment to try and comprehend that this was really hard, as Akira seems to be a natural Angst Repellant. The repetitive style is intentional. Please comment!

(P.S…Am I really the only one who noticed how suggestive a lot of Akira's lines in episode one and beyond are?! Either that or my mind is really far down the gutter…)

**Friends) With Benefits**

At first, it was just something Shuji did to blow off steam.

To get away from all that pretending for just a while, so he could go back and put that mask right back on later.

He would secretly motion to Akira to follow him (which he always did) and they would walk inconspicuously down the hall.

Shuji in the front making sure no one saw where they were going.

Akira a couple meters behind him, respecting Shuji's wish that they not be seen together, whether he wanted it or not.

As soon as Shuji found a quiet, empty area with a spacious closet, he would pull the other boy inside with him, and proceed to strip and fuck Akira until neither of them could stand anymore.

Very soon they would collapse in a heap on the floor.

Shuji would clean himself up, straighten his clothes, and leave in silence.

Whenever the pressure started to get to him once more, Shuji would do it all over again…over and over and over, not caring about whether or not Akira enjoyed being left by himself after being used multiple times.

There were no kisses exchanged and he always made sure neither of them made a sound (even if it meant biting down on his tongue or gagging Akira with his hand). There were no loving words: this was not an act of love. This was just something they did to blow off steam. At least…it was for Shuji.

* * *

Akira quickly decided he was not going to be someone Shuji could just use and forget about as soon as he got the chance. He knew all about Shuji's so-called "girlfriend", whose only purpose was to be the pretty girl Shuji pretended to love and pretended to give a damn about while masquerading as Mr. Perfect and screwing Akira in dark closets. Akira didn't like the idea of unrequited feelings, and pitied Mariko for not knowing the truth.

He didn't mind admitting it; he really liked Shuji, even if he was a liar and a faker. Because he could tell that under all the fabrications, falsities and issues, the real Shuji was a fascinating person. A _good_ person. One who liked people enough to lie to them, just to make them happy.

So he'd do everything in his power to force the real Shuji to show himself more. There was nothing in the whole world that he wanted to accomplish, which Akira felt was very wrong indeed. His whole life was geared towards preserving his youth, but he was on the verge of loosing his childhood forever, which meant that sooner or later, he would need goals. The kind of things that grown-up people needed.

So why not choose friendship with Shuji? It wasn't like he had anything to lose. Pride? He didn't really care about pride. Reputation? He was a loner. Dignity? By his own choice, he made a fool of himself on an hourly basis.

He had a lot to gain though… someone to hang out with, for one.

Akira had to admit, this was going to be difficult. Sometimes, Shuji had the patience of a thousand year old tree; he didn't seem interested in Akira unless it involved casual sex. But it would be worth it. Besides, it would be fun seeing Shuji try to cover it all up if it worked. It was a boring world, after all, and he needed fun, while he still had the youth to experience it with.

* * *

Shuji knew nothing of these plans, and probably wouldn't have cared either way. He didn't care about Akira. They just fucked. Nothing more. Why should he care what the boy thought about on a daily basis?

He would almost say they were…well, friends with benefits, but they weren't even friends, so he didn't know what to call their unspoken agreement. All in all, he was fine with keeping things as they were; sans complications.

* * *

As weeks went by, Shuji found himself sneaking off with Akira more and more often as he got more and more frustrated with every day life. He kept having to come up with lies about why it was that his clothes were so wrinkled, and where he kept going during the lunches that he used to spend exclusively with Mariko, which was adding to his frustrations. If this continued, people would eventually find out what was going on between them.

Once, when the hallway was full of people and Shuji couldn't escape without anyone noticing, he sat inside the dark cupboard with Akira, with an awkward silence ruling over them. Dark though it was, Shuji could just make out Akira's figure, with his hair in a mess, clothes unbuttoned and eyes glazed over, staring at Shuji with a smile on his swollen lips that had absolutely no right to be there.

It had irritated him a great deal; Akira had no right to stare, he stood out a lot more, with his strange habits, weird personality, and oddly childish behavior. He had no right to smile; what they had done mere minutes before meant absolutely nothing. Shuji had wished the hall would empty, so he could leave Akira and continue his Game.

What frustrated him even more than the smiles and stares though, was the way Akira kept trying to become his friend. It also confused him; they were doing things usually reserved for lovers (which they weren't; that required love, or at the very least, some kind of emotional bond) and instead of acting needy and insisting that were together, he was trying to be Shuji's friend. It didn't make any sense, and it wasn't going to make him anymore popular than he already was.

"Don't smile at me like that, it means nothing. YOU mean nothing to me. Nothing," he said, as soon as the hall was clear.

There were outsiders, and there were _outsiders._ Akira fell under the second category.

As Akira sat in the empty cupboard alone, there was a smile that still hadn't faded, but there was also a small, fat tear rolling down his cheek.

"Nothing? Heh!"

"…Liar."

* * *

Very soon, Akira started to get clingy. As if he had the _right_ to drape himself over Shuji like that. The right to follow and irritate him. To insinuate that he was his best friend. It didn't seem to matter how much he hated Akira, or how often he would shake him off, Akira always came back, more determined than before. It was exhausting.

He had to resort to hiding from the boy and sneaking off to class where his classmates were waiting. For some or other reason, Akira never went near him while he was playing "The Game." But as soon as he left them, Akira would emerge from nowhere to pester him, despite Shuji's complaints.

The day Akira said "I know, you only show you true self around me", Shuji started to worry that they were drifting closer. That if he didn't get rid of Akira somehow, the boy really would end up getting too close to knowing what he was really like. He couldn't have that; school and home were two different worlds, and there was a line that could never be allowed to fade.

* * *

When Kotani Nobuko came to their school, things started to change even more. Shuji started to feel that some things weren't right. Like the way their new classmate was being treated, for example. It was downright cruel that the girl should be pushed around and stepped on like that, simply because people like Bando had nothing better to do than make someone's life a living hell. No wonder the girl had wanted to commit suicide.

Things with Akira were changing too. As much as it bothered him, he realized that as much as he told himself he did, he couldn't hate Akira; he hadn't done anything other than irritate him and cling to him and try to be his friend. But what did he expect, really?

Irritating a person was _nothing_ compared to using them for sex. And how could he fault Akira for wanting his friendship? Everyone else wanted it, although none of them were actually his "friends." It was only natural that Akira would also want to sit with the popular guys and laugh at their jokes.

And the sex…well, he wasn't sure how it all started really. It just…started. He didn't even know why Akira agreed to it; he was always on the bottom, Shuji never said a word to him before, during or after, and he didn't think Akira really liked him romantically, despite the constant touching. All that Shuji knew was that now the only thing he ever got from their clandestine rendezvous was guilt, and that it had to stop. Shuji had been happy with the arrangement, because it was guilt free. But now that that had changed he didn't like it anymore. It had to stop.

And so it did.

* * *

When they first decided to produce Nobuta, Shuji noticed yet another change in Akira. He seemed to graduate from minor touches to spontaneous hugs, weird kissy faces, shaking his ass in front of him, and suggestive remarks. Shuji always felt his face flush when Akira said things like "Feeeels good!", "You're the man I chose," or even "You can do me too."

He always felt the urge to yell, "I've already done you, stop saying things like that!" but never would, because someone was bound to hear him. Like Nobuta. Which would be a very bad thing, because although she wouldn't tell anybody, she seemed too innocent for him to go around talking about the unmentionable things that used to go on between him and Akira.

Shuji soon decided that, as irritating as the boy was, he was starting to like Akira…As a person, of course.

There was something about the way he tried to make you smile if you were frowning too much, and bounced around like he couldn't care less if the world thought he was mad. The way he would make even more of a fool of himself to try to ease Nobuta's pain.

It made Shuji feel like he should be a better person, like he should change his naughty, lying, bad ways. Akira was making him feel uncomfortable again, and he wasn't even clinging as much as he used to.

That was another thing. Why did he miss the days when Akira would drag him off to the Tofu shop and hold him hostage and force him to listen to his weird philosophical questions and irritating giggles…which didn't sound so irritating anymore?

"Why does everything about him have to be so confusing?!" Shuji thought on more than one occasion. The only answer he could ever come up with was, "Because he's Akira. He's weird, and nothing will change that." But it was an unsatisfying answer. Why was it that Akira didn't fit into Shuji's logical image of the world?

"He is going to make me just as crazy as he is, I can feel it," he thought morbidly.

* * *

"Fuck." This was the first thing he thought about when he thought of Akira. It was the perfect word to describe the way he felt when he was around the boy. His brain never seemed to function properly around him, and he always ended up being pissed off at himself for letting himself be so influenced by someone so obviously mad. And why, god, did he have to be so…so…_so_…

…attractive?

Attractive. It was another word that found its way into his head when Akira was around. Shuji felt his heart beat strangely when Akira lay his head on his shoulder and his arm around Shuji's waist, and realized he was really enjoying every moment they spent together while producing Nobuta, even if what they were trying to do was hopeless. Of course, he still brushed the boy off for the sake of maintaining his status quo, but this didn't chance the fact that Akira was growing on him like some kind of hopelessly sexy hallucinogenic mushroom.

He found it hard not to smile at the little mannerisms that he used to hate, and feel oddly jealous when Akira confessed to him how he felt about Nobuta. Especially after the guy had had the nerve to barge into _his_ house, charm _his_ family, and climb into _his_ bed.

The fact that the boy was the most incurably noble and caring person he'd ever met was not helping either.

As much as he cared about Nobuta, he felt so jealous that she had Akira's heart nestled in her pocket. The worst thing was, she had no idea how crazy in-love Akira was with her. It wasn't fair. But then again, life wasn't fair, and Nobuta was who Akira loved, so he would leave it alone.

The more he tried to leave it alone though, the less he liked what Akira was becoming lately. An envious, possessive person who saw and cared for nothing but Nobuta. It also seemed to Shuji, that the closer Akira got to Nobuta, the less he touched Shuji.

Until one day, when he stopped hugging, tackling and hanging on Shuji entirely, as if he had never been physically affectionate with his best friend before.

He missed the kissy faces most of all, because they had only ever been aimed at him. Now that they were gone…well, he wanted them back. He _needed_ them back.

If it wasn't for the habits the boy still had, you would think he was a different person. Everything was for Nobuta, whether she wanted it or not.

* * *

Akira felt like his heart was ripping into tiny little pieces. It felt like he was turning into some kind of horrible, horrible monster who didn't care who got hurt, as long as he got Nobuta. How could anyone blame him? She was perfect; she was one of a kind.

She didn't parade around in brand-names and cackle at the misfortune of others. She didn't smoke or drink. She was quiet and kind. She was pretty in a fragile and very precious kind of way. She tried, little by little, to hold up her head with, if not a happy face, at least one that was not frightened or sad.

He felt a great overwhelming need to protect her, and with that need came an adoration for what he sought to protect. With that adoration a desperate, bitterly jealous love.

He hated what he almost did to Shuji most of all. After all that Akira had gone through to gain his friendship, he nearly tossed it all in the bin along with the tape Shuji had worked so hard on. Why did his love for Nobuta turn him into such a terrible person? And why was Shuji so forgiving of it all?

He made her cry too. What kind of jerk made a girl cry? Especially one like Nobuta. He deserved that left hook, and the blood flowing from his nose was the price he was paying for the tears that flowed from her eyes.

It had to stop. He didn't deserve her if he'd already made her unhappy, AND almost did something despicable to his best friend.

So Akira let Nobuta go.

* * *

Shuji fell gracelessly from grace as the lies were uncovered. In one short horrifying day, his entire reputation came crashing down, and for the first time ever, he had nothing to hide behind. He was stripped of the cloak of fake smiles, pretense and lies.

He felt naked, venerable, and above all else, alone, as all of his "friends" turned on him. It was one of the things he had always been afraid of; that everything he had done to become popular would be undone, and no one would care about him. It was as if one of his many nightmares had become reality, and there would be no waking up this time.

He decided it would be best if he distanced himself from Nobuta; now that she was getting more popular with her lunch program, it would be mean of him to bring her down after she had worked so hard. And Akira didn't need to be sneered at any more than he already was; he didn't have any other friends as it was.

Problem was…things weren't going as planned. It baffled him that all it took was a simple sleight-of-hand magic trick to reunite them. Not only that, but it seemed to make them closer than ever. Katherine really had to be a mystical crow woman or something, because she seemed to be teaching Nobuta real magic.

Akira and Nobuta simply walked out of the classroom with him, clearly ignoring his request that they not associate with him. As they walked through the hallway, linked at the shoulder by Akira's familiar arms, he noticed Akira smiling at him through the corner of his eye, before the boy turned sideways and hugged Shuji. It was going to be alright. Everything was normal and sane again, perhaps even more so, now that he didn't have to pretend anymore.

* * *

"Why don't you care more about yourself?" Akira asked, his face sadder than Shuji had ever seen it before. He tried his best to ignore it; Akira was making this harder than it already was. He could tell that, though the boy would not let a single tear fall at that moment, he was on the brink of tears. Shuji looked Akira in the eyes and said, "Does doing something for other people mean you're not caring about yourself? Akira looked away sadly, not able to look him in the face.

* * *

"Hey, aren't you gonna go say goodbye?" asked the Tofu man, yanking back the covers irritably.

"Don't want to!" Akira sang mirthlessly. The old man sighed, crouched down and shook his head sadly. "Just cause it hurts? What the point hiding it? You're gonna just say that nothing happened with Shuji?" Akira froze for a second then started breathing again, but he had caught something in the man's voice. "If you give up doing what's difficult, it means you're gonna give up what was fun too. Is that okay?" Akira sat up and thought for a moment. No. "To make it nothing…I can't do that" he decided. The man smiled and slapped him encouragingly on the arm. "Then do it till the end," he said simply. The boy looked at him closely with knitted eyebrows, as if trying to work something out. The Tofu Man's expression did not change, but there was a knowing glint in his eye. "How did you know?" Akira said finally. The man smiled, tapped his nose and said, "I may be old, but I'm not going blind, deaf or senile yet."

* * *

"You're going to let him leave?" said Nobuta quietly as the van pulled away. He turned to her in confusion, as tears he had been holding in since Shuji announced he was leaving them cascaded silently down his cheek and forming a wet spot on his jacket. She took his arm and gently led him away from the crowd, instinctively knowing he would not want others to see his grief.

He looked her in the eyes and saw in her eyes what he had seen in Hirayama-san's eyes. He groaned.

"Am I that obvious?" he asked desperately. Nobuta nodded, handing him a packet of street brand tissues.

"Not really…most people just don't care enough to look properly. But I care about AKIR--Akira. And…even if I didn't look…I can feel that Akira feels something very strong for Shuji. Its not too hard to figure out what…"

Akira nodded solemnly and handed her back the rest of the unused tissues. He sat down on the grassy hill and watched the other kids start to walk off, chatting amongst themselves and not noticing Nobuta or Akira, or even Shuji's absences. Why did Shuji care about those people so much? He could only provide them with some brief fun, and after chasing down the van, they hardly seemed to remember that he had ever been "one of them."

He sighed and glanced at Nobuta, kon-konning softly with his hand puppet. "Alright, what should I do, then? I've never had this kind of…well…there _was_ you, but…you know…"he blushed a little but didn't look away. She stared him straight in the face and said calmly, "Shuji and Akira are two in one. Nobuta to Shuji to Akira will always be, but you need Shuji and he needs _you_. Do what you have to do, don't let him be alone."

* * *

After the initial shock of seeing Akira again, Shuji got used to them being together in a new school. It was almost like life back in Tokyo, but without Nobuta or their old classmates, or any of the people they left in the city. They would miss her, of course, but from what they could tell by her frequent phone calls, she was slowly adjusting as well.

They were standing on the balcony of Akira's apartment, admiring the view.

Shuji handed Akira a can of soda, which the boy happily grabbed and gulped down gratefully. "Doomo Shuji-kun! Oishi!" he said happily, hugging Shuji from behind. Shuji did not dislodge him; he wasn't putting on a false image anymore. He could let go and relax completely for the first time.

"So…this is going to be interesting," he said nervously. He turned his head back to Akira, who was staring at him in confusion. "Why is that Shuji?"

Shuji looked out at the sea from the balcony and sighed warmly. Might as well get it over with. Before Akira knew what was going on, Shuji had swung around in his arms, grabbed the back of his hair and pressed their lips together. As soon as he realized what they were doing he deepened the kiss and slipped his arms around Shuji's shoulder.

They broke apart a minute later, and Shuji looked shocked at his own actions. Neither of them spoke for several minutes, but when the did, Akira was the first to break the silence. "That was…interesting! I think I see what you mean, kon-kon!" he pecked Shuji's cheek with his fox puppet. "You know, that's part of why I came here, daccha."

Shuji still looked extremely uneasy, as if he had just done something wrong and felt he needed to apologize for it, but Akira didn't seem to want an apology at all. It was a simple action that should really have complicated things quite a lot, but it hadn't. Akira seemed suspiciously happy about it all, but he had not been this uncomfortable since the time before they met Nobuta. It felt like there was something he was not seeing, some _thing_ that kept him for feeling any kind of happiness right now and causing an inexplicable, nauseating guilt to swim through every vein in his body.

Akira ruffled his hair absentmindedly. Suddenly, Shuji realized the problem as familiar images of the boy in front of him with an amused expression and disheveled clothes flashed through his mind and he paled visibly. The last time that they had been that physically intimate, he had not been a good person in his own eyes. He had used Akira for his own benefit on a daily basis back then, a fact that in retrospect disgusted him. And now, he had forgotten about personal boundaries and kissed the friend he vowed he would never take advantage of ever again.

Even back then, they had never kissed; Shuji had been firm on that point. Screwing mindlessly to blow off steam was one thing, but kissing had been an unbreakable taboo in their arrangement. He had always viewed them as a sacred thing, a sign of trust and respect and affection, which he had only started feeling a few months ago. Thinking back on it all, a question rose up in Shuji's mind and refused to leave. Before he could even think about what that kiss meant, he needed to ask it.

"Why?" he asked solemnly.

"Eh? What do you mean now, Shuuji-kun?" Akira said, still trying to come to terms with his friend's confusing new behavior. It had given him hope, and he hoped Shuji would not back out now.

Shuji cringed. He really didn't want to talk about this, but he had to. He tried again. "Back then, before we met Nobuta…why did you let me…use you like that? Why?"

"Oh, that?" he said, suddenly understanding why Shuji looked so ill at ease. It was a topic that had always bubbled just below the surface, like some dark ugly swamp creature. That's what it was to Shuji, at least. To Akira, it was just an eventuality that he didn't really mind confronting; were he to confront Shuji's creature, he would probably have sprayed the swamp muck off and given it a cookie.

He smiled warmly and stayed silent for a few moments. "Shuji-kun, you looked so lonely and stressed whenever you left their company. Even when you were with them, I could tell there was something not right with the way you joked and played with them, because it was _all_ playing. You were putting all you're effort into making them believe you were everything they wanted to have or to be. You played them, but I could see the stress it put on you. If you didn't find some kind of escape, you would eventually have snapped, and ended up hurting yourself and loosing the people you needed to surround you to be safe and sane. I don't want Shuji to be hurt. So…I just let you do what you did. I'm not sorry, and I don't regret anything we did, because I was doing it for you."

Shuji was staring at him in shock, but it took him all of three seconds to lunge at Akira like a hungry animal and pin him angrily against the railing of the balcony and holding his shirt in a vice grip. "That doesn't make any sense! I didn't even like you back then! I treated you like shit! Why would you do that for me?! Akira, WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT?!" he screamed, barely noticing the tears that were starting to fall from his own eyes. "Damn it…wh- why are you so loyal…so goddamned moral?" it was barely a whisper now as the tears flowed freely. "Why?"

The boy's face remained unchanged as he gently removed Shuji's hands from his shirt and lightly pushed him back a couple centimeters. "Do you really want to know the truth, or do you want to wait till the Truth Man stalks me?" Smile was still there.

Shuji watched him desperately, and his only reply was to nod his head slowly. Akira's smile widened even more as he stepped forward and kissed Shuji again. He interlocked his fingers around Shuji's waist and back.

"Shuuji-kun, suki dayo. Honto ni, suki dayo. Rabu-rabu desu! Kon!"

Shuji didn't bother to speak. What could he possibly say to that? He was tired of questions that had already been answered. Instead he gave in and hugged Akira tightly. He nodded to Akira and smiled a little back, before placing a small chaste his on the boy's cheek. An understanding had been reached.

He admired the pink tinge that crept into Akira's cheek where he had kissed him. Uncontrolled giggles filled the air as he was pulled through Akira's apartment towards the bedroom.

This time, Shuji made sure to shower his new _**love**_r in butterfly kisses and let every moan and scream be unrestrained and loud enough for all to hear his name breathed over and over on un-gagged lips.

_Owari_

_-…- Please. I beg you, please comment on this! It took me ages to write…I just want to know if you guys liked it. Thanks for reading! _


End file.
